Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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