last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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