i think my tv is drunk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
