i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
