I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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