you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
