I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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