maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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