I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
