community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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