do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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