Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
