R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
