we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
