I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
