You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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