I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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