the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
