i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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