they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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