I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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