Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
