May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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