No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
