Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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