see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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