Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
