Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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