Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
