She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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