walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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