Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
