I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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