i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
