If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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