So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
