so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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