Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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