White coat. Heels.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
