Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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