In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
