I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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