i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
