Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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