i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
