While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my liver is dry heaving
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize