it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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