would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
