Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
