On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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