dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
