i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
