I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
