his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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