the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
