Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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