i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
