i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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