oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
