We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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