She said her name was "party"
i just google imaged poop.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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