It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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