Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
