It's Friday. Sex?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
