is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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